Don't Bring Pets to Work
by Adiji-Sensei
Summary: Oneshot: What happens when Elena brings her pet to Shinra? This is just randomness, please read and review!


Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII.

A/N: This is just a crazy oneshot me and my friend thought up. It's just meant to be completely random, but please review to let me know if you like it! Please don't flame.

Elena smiled happily as she stroked her cat, Mr Fluffles. She had brought him into work that day as she felt bad about leaving him at home. She sighed as her phone rang, it was orders from Tseng. He needed some help cleaning out the supply cupboard (why Rufus was asking the Turks to do it, she had no idea, but it wasn't her place to argue). She put the phone down and picked her cat up, placing him on the desk.

"Now, Mr Fluffles, I will be back soon. I have to go and help Tseng." she said, and then walked out of the office, forgetting to shut the door. Mr Fluffles took this as an invite to go and explore Shinra.

Rude had been trying to do paperwork, when Reno started flicking pen lids at his head. Deciding that he wouldn't be able to concentrate while being attacked with office supplies, there was soon a full out war in the office, where Reno and Rude were flinging stationary at each other. Paperclips, pencils, paper balls, pretty much anything littered the carpet and the two Turks were hiding behind desks and chairs. Rude was surprised when he saw a cat leap onto his desk.

"Reno, who in Shinra owns a cat?" he asked, and was surprised to see the redhead shrug.

"Certainly not me, I don't have time for pets." he said, and walked up to the cat and read the name on the collar. Fighting the urge to laugh, he looked up at Rude.

"Who in Shinra would call their cat Mr Fluffles?" he said, and watched as the bald man was trying so hard not to burst out laughing. Reno didn't even try to stop himself, and fell to the floor in fits of laughter. Rude was struggling to control the urge to join hsi partner, when Tseng walked in. Seeing the mess, he just shook his head.

"I'm not even going to ask what happened in here, but anyway...WHY IS THERE A CAT IN HERE?!" he shouted, pointing at the animal. Tseng wasn't too fon of cats, he had a bad experiance with one when it decided to use his leg as a scratching post. Rude looked at his boss, surpsied that he was freaking out over a cat. Said cat decided to sneak away while everyone was distrcted.

"We don't know who owns it, but we do know what it's name is." Rude said, now smirking in an effort to control the laughter that wanted to burst out of his throat. Reno was just managing to compose himself, but all composure was lost at mention of the name.

"IT'S CALLED MR FLUFFLES!" he shouted before collapsing in another fit of laughter. That laughter was halted when the redhead noticed that the cat had gone.

"Where did it go, Rude?" he asked, and Rude went rathre pale when he looked at the uncovered ventilation shaft.

"No way..."

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Elena had just got back to her office when she noticed her beloved Mr Fluffles was missing. Going into a panic, she looked everywhere, but there was no sight of her precious cat. She suddenly remembered that the door had been left open. Figuring that it would still be on the same floor, she ran out of her office and made her way to Rude's.

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Reno, Rude, and Tseng were standing around the opening of the vent, they could hear the cat but it wasn't going to come out willingly. The three Turks nearly jumped out of their skins when the office door was thrown open, and in the doorway was a very worried Elena.

"Where is Mr Fluffles?!" she shouted in terror, and they instantly knew who the cat belonged to.

"Mr Fluffles is in the vent." Reno told her, actually managing to keep a straight face this time. Elena looked shocked, but then a smirk appeared on her face, and Tseng backed out of the room slowly. This only left Reno and Rude. Elena looked over at Reno and gave the best innocent look she could muster.

"Reno...please get my kitty out from the vent..." she asked, turning really nice all of a sudden. Reno looked shocked, he never believed that Elena could be so...nice! Falling for it instantly, he turned to Rude, and then looked up at the vent.

"Rude, I need a boost, man." he said, and watched as the bald man shook his head and stood underneath the opening. Rude wasn't about to tell his friend that he had just been tricked, as otherwise Elena wouldn't shut up about the damn cat. Elena watched with an evil smirk as Reno grabbed onto Rude's shoulders and jumped onto his back. He wriggled up a little and Rude was standing perfectly still, obviously used to this. She watched as Rude bent down a little and Reno balanced on his back. Once the redhead was sure he wouldn't fall, he placed his palms on the wall and stood on Rude's shoulders.

"Ok, you can stand upright now." Elena watched as Rude stood normally and thought Reno was going to fall, but he kept his balance. Grabbing onto the lower lip of the vent, Reno jumped off of Rude's shoulders and hoisted himself into the opening. Elena was surprised that the routine had actually worked, but she figured that the redhead must have very good balance.

Inside the vent, Reno had plenty of room to move so he took his blazer off and threw it out of the hole, where it landed on Rude's head.

"Look after that, dude!" he shouted down, and heard Rude moving chairs around. After a few minutes, Reno heard Rude's voice echoing through the vents.

"Find something to grip onto, I need your foot." Reno was rather confused, surely Rude wasn't thinking about climbing into the vent with him.

"I won't be a lot of help if you get stuck." Reno called back.

"Why not?"

"I'll be too busy laughing hysterically." Rude just growled and felt around for Reno's foot, and when he found it, used it to pull himself up. Rude got his shoulders in, but then got stuck. Elena found this rather amusing, and after Rude sent a death glare to Reno, he watched the redhead crawl away.

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Tseng decided it was safe to walk back into the office, but how wrong was he. Reno was nowhere to be found, Elena was on the floor in fits of laughter, and Rude was half in, half out of the vent. Grabbing a chair and sitting down, he looked over at Elena.

"What's going on?" he asked, and watched as the blonde slowly began to compose herself.

"Rude gave Reno a boost and he is currently in the ventilation shaft, Rude is kind of stuck and he can't get out." she explained and Tseng nodded in understanding.

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Rufus was boiling in his office, it was too hot. He walked over to the air con dial and turned it, and was pleased to feel a cool breeze come into the office. The young president had no idea what he had just done.

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In the vents, Reno was not having a good time. For some strange reason, his hair tie had snapped, so now his red locks were going everywhere. He finally caught sight of Mr Fluffles, so the redhead began to sneak up behind the cat in an attempt to grab it. Unfortunately, the cat saw him, but didn't move in time as the air con started up, and the cat was flung towards the Turk. Reno closed his eyes and felt the cat get caught up in his hair.

"Oh great, as if things couldn't get any worse!" he shouted, but his eyes widened when the air started to get stronger and he was thrown back the way he had come.

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Rude sighed from his unfortunate position inside the vent, he was beginning to get bored and as much as he wriggled, the man still couldn't get free. He thought he heard screaming coming from further up, but the Turk didn't bother panicking as he couldn't move anywhere. A shocked expression replaced the bored one when Reno came flying around the corner.

"Rude, watch ou--OOF!" Reno said when he crashed into his partner. Unfortunately, the bald man only moved a little, and the cat was happily getting it's claws stuck in Reno's hair. Rude sighed, he was struggling to breathe, and Reno's hair was tickling his nose.

"Reno..." he said slowly, trying not to sneeze.

"Yes?"

"You need a damn haircut."

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Rufus was getting on with his work when he noticed that the air con had stopped working. Wondering what had happened, he called Tseng. He knew the Turk boss would get the Turks to have a look at the monitors, they showed what was going on in the vents.

"Tseng, the air con has gone nuts, is there a blockage somewhere?" he asked, and was surprised when Tseng had an immediate answer.

"Yes, and the blockage is known as Reno and Rude." he said calmly, as if this was a normal occurance. Rufus couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he knew that Tseng would not joke about such a thing.

"Why are they in the vents, more importantly, how did Rude get in there in the first place?" he asked a little too calmly.

"Elena's cat." was all Tseng said, and Rufus decided not to ask. With a sigh, he got ready to end the conversation.

"Just get them out of there."

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A few hours later, and the pair were still stuck. Mr Fluffles had got bored of playing with Reno's hair and he was now curled up in front of the redhead. Rude sighed, his sides were now starting to hurt and everything had gone quiet behind him.

"Reno, can you PLEASE do something about your hair?! Why is it down anyway?" Rude sked, getting frustrated.

"The hair tie snapped, and I don't have another one on me, so you're just going to have to deal with it. Hold on...I got an idea!"

"Oh no..." Reno moved his head, which made his hair tickle Rude's nose again.

"Shut up, anyway, Tseng and Elena could pull your legs, I'll climb up the slope again, then I slide down and as I hit your shoulders, they pull your legs!" he said, and surprising Rude liked the idea.

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When the plan had been told, Elena and Tseng had a leg each. Reno had clambered up the slope again, and Mr Fluffles was in his hair again.

"Ready, Rude?" At Rude's nod and a move of his foot, which told Tseng and Elena he was ready, the two Turks outside began to pull. Rude saw Reno kick off from the vent and closed his eyes, and when he opened them he was back in the office. Standing up and knocking Reno off of his back, he began to dust himself down.

"Thanks for the help." he told them, and Elena began fussing over her cat.

"Oh Mr Fluffles, did the skinny runt of a redhead hurt you?" she said softly as she began to get the cat's claws out of Reno's hair. Reno sent her a glare.

"Yeah, poor kitty...WHAT ABOUT POOR RENO?!" he shouted, but Elena just walked out of the room. Reno watched her go as he pulled a hairbrush and a pot of hair gel out of his desk drawer and started sorting his hair out. Rude watched with amusement.

"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE HAIR!"

Once Rufus had got the report that the cat had been removed from the building, he decided to enforce a rule that no pets were allowed at work, so that the incident didn't happen again.

A/N: Thanks for reading!


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